Well, here I find myself joining a large community of online journal-er’s. It feels somehow a little silly and vulnerable (mostly vulnerable, putting my deepest feelings out there for the whole world to see), but it will be many more years before my memoirs are published and so this will be my outlet for a bit. (I am totally laughing right now.)
I don’t really know where to start. Other people have such directed posts. For me, this is really about making observations in regards to my own life as I’m dissolved and forced to evolve. The title, becoming unequaled, is bold- don’t you think?. It almost even feels presumptuous. That is by no means my point, to be arrogant that is. However, I am becoming unequaled. I am tired of trying to fit in with the crowd; hiding and blending, blah. It is so exhausting and empty trying to be something I am not meant to be. My heart desires to be what God has called me to, which means being unequaled. No two of us are alike, right?! So why do we try to imitate each other when our design intends for something so much more. Literally, God imprinted it within our very own DNA to be without equal.
My hope is that my ramblings on my personal metamorphosis will inspire others out there to allow God the freedom to undo you also (to the point of being unrecognizable sometimes) and remake you into the creature that flies and no longer crawls.
This journey so often is not chosen and my guess is that it is rarely enjoyable. It forces many of us, I am convinced, to cry and beg for the normal of what we have always know and over our lives have grown used to. I think God loves us enough though to not let us settle into our mundane. Why would He if He really loves us and created us to do something unique and terrifying- terrifying because it is what we (you and me) were created specifically to do…so we don’t know what it is supposed to look like (because no one else has ever done it) and that is scary stuff!
Despite all my fears, I’m choosing to surrender. I’m learning to lean into this process instead of resisting it with all my might. And, much like a butterfly, the end product is going to be amazing. I just know it will all be worth it when we spread our wings and get to see the world with a whole new perspective.
It has to be…what I’ve always known does not exist any longer.
Here’s to the journey! Cheers.